Credit: ThinkStock
The Pumpkin Spice Condom might be fake (alas), but the bacon condom is 100% real . . . as is (yes) bacon lube. Better yet? Non-carnivores, too, have plenty of ways they can mix two of life's greatest pleasures—food and sex—in the bedroom. We've shared some of our faves below, but first, let's go over the ground rules:
1. Safety first, people. And there are just six words you need to know: KEEP SUGAR OUT OF YOUR VAGINA! Sugar in your vagina will almost always lead to a yeast infection. So, if you get anything that was not designed to be in your vagina in there (and it could very well happen), be sure to wash it very well when you are done. I’m not a doctor, but if I were you, I’d get a vinegar and water douche when you're finished.
2. If you're going to bring food into the bedroom, that’s probably not the time to use your 5,000-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. If you tend to get messy (and you probably do), don’t forget the stain remover before you throw your sheets in the laundry.
Now, on to the good stuff . . .
Flavored Lube
Edible, flavored lube is great way to add some flavor into your sex life without destroying your bed sheets. Personally, my favorite lube is Aloe Cadabra's Tahitian Vanilla Flavor. It’s 95% certified organic, and also comes in Peppermint Tingle and Pina Colada flavors. Plus, it's safe when used with condoms. Need more incentive? The company will give you 20% off with the coupon code RAVISHLY for a limited time.
Popsicles
Hopefully, you know that popsicles should not be inserted into the vagina. But a popsicle will make your tongue nice and cold, which will make oral sex even hotter. Or drip the Popsicle all over your partner’s body and lick away . . .
Whipped Cream
You know how delicious it is to spray some whipped cream directly into your mouth straight out of the can when no one is looking? Imagine how delicious it is to spray it in your partner’s mouth and then all over their body. After that, you will be ready for sex and your partner will be whipped . . . literally.
Chocolate Body Paint
Kama Sutra makes a handy dandy chocolate body paint kit that includes a brush. It comes in milk chocolate, dark chocolate raspberry and caramel flavors. Use it all over your partner’s body. Paint the nipples. Paint any areas where your partner is particularly sensitive. If they think it's fun to painted—imagine how they will feel when you lick it off.
If you don’t have body paint specifically, you can improvise by dripping a little chocolate syrup and your tongue can do the rest, but just to warn you—chocolate syrup can get a little sticky.
Honey
A little honey can be sweet when you’re horny. In ancient times, Hippocrates actually prescribed honey to increase sexual arousal because it balances hormone levels. It also contains nitric oxide, which is released into the blood when someone is in a state of arousal.
Get a squeeze bottle or bear of honey (honey is always better when it comes out of a bear- true story). Squeeze the bear and then squeeze your partner.
Whiporice
If you like it a little kinky, but still want to keep it sweet, why not try a Whiporice? It’s a whip made of actual licorice. It’s more Fifty Shades of Innocent than Fifty Shades of Grey . . .
Ice Cubes
Ice is nice and ice cubes are the instant sex toys we all have in our kitchens. Take the cube and rub it on your partner’s neck, behind their ears and all over their body, especially the nipples. Nipples are erogenous zones for both men and women. Using an ice cube is especially fun during the summer—when it gets hot outside, you can bring a little cool to the bedroom. They’re also fun in the winter, when perhaps the heat is on a little too high and both you are your partner really need to cool down before you make it hot.
